


love you (promise)

by ImmaKashootMyself



Series: promises [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Multi, couples and friendships siblings and moms and father figures cause nobody really has a dad here tbh, not really sure what im doing, this is just cute lil drabbles and short sories tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-04-11 12:51:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19110031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmaKashootMyself/pseuds/ImmaKashootMyself
Summary: the tags are the summary





	1. sorry I called you a shortsighted thot

Everyone turned their heads as Clint and Natalia walked out of the elevator into the common area, clearly in a heated argument.

 

"You are absolutely unbearable! I can't believe you! You have the  _audacity_ to -"

 

"Oh, I have the  _audacity_? Wow, big words, Clint, I didn't think you knew what that meant! You're so  _stupid_ there's no way you're right about this!" Natalia shouted, pointing in his face.

 

He reared back at the finger in his face, looking scandalized. " _I'm_ the stupid one? Your stance on this is completely ridiculous! There's not one possibility, not a snowball's chance in hell you're right. This is  _my_ kind of thing! I know what I'm talking about, _Natasha_!"

 

Bucky blinked from his perch on Steve's armchair. He'd never heard Clint call her Natasha. 

 

She looked dead in his face and hissed, "Don't you call me Natasha,  _Clinton_. I know your middle name and I will leak it to the public, you bastard. I can't believe your stance on this! How could you say something like that?"

 

Clint scoffed. "I am only speaking the truth! The fact that you won't accept it is on you!"

 

"Truth, my ass! You're not hot enough to be _this_ idiotic!" she snarled.

 

Tony gaped, never having seen them argue this wildly. The entire room stared, all the while wondering what they were arguing about. 

 

"If you were any more inbred you'd be a fucking sandwich!"

 

Oh, bless your heart, you clearly have not been burdened by an overabundance of education to see that a) I'm not from Alabama you shortsighted thot and b) the most inbred thing in this room is your opinion! God, I didn't think you could be so unintelligent!"

 

"Your gene pool could use a little chlorine."

 

 

"Honey, you couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the sole."

 

"God, don't be so sensitive!"

 

"Me? You started it, you piece of-"

 

"HEY! ENOUGH!" Steve shouted over them, looking concerned. "This is going a little too far. What's all this about?"

 

Clint whirled around to face him, nearly in tears. "Would you  _please_ tell her that a hot dog is  _not_ a sandwich?"

 

Natalia threw up her hands. "Use logic, you half-witted bitch! A sandwich consists of meat inside bread. Isn’t that what a hot dog is? Hot dogs are even made of the same meats used to make lunch meats, like beef, pork, and turkey!"

 

Clint's lip curled in disgust. "A hot dog is just a hot dog. I’ve never seen hot dogs listed in the sandwich section of the menu at a restaurant. Hot dogs and sandwiches are built differently. To make a sandwich, you stack the ingredients on one piece of bread and put a second piece on top. A hot dog, however, just slides into one piece of bread, the bun. Plus, some people like to eat hot dogs without the bun. That’s definitely not a sandwich! Limiting the hot dog's significance by saying it's 'just a sandwich' is like calling the Dalai Lama 'just a guy.' Mayhaps at one time its importance could be limited by forcing it into a larger sandwich category (no disrespect to Reubens and others), but that time has passed!"

 

" _Hell_ naw, man!" Sam yelled, walking out of the room. "White people. Who else argues about this stuff?"

 

Everyone filed out of the room grumbling, finding the argument topic idiotic.

 

Clint sighed, turning to Natalia. "I'm sorry I called you unbearable and inbred and called you Natasha and said that about your gene pool and sensitive."

 

She sighed as well, visibly deflating as she grabbed his hands and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. "I'm sorry I called you stupid and Clinton and not hot and idiotic and a shortsighted thot and unintelligent and said that boot comment and called you a half-witted bitch."

 

He pulled Natalia closer, wrapping himself in her arms instead of the other way around. They rocked together in the middle of the living room, Natalia carding her fingers through his hair and Clint burrowing into her neck. 

 

Tony's voice cracked over the intercom, startling them both. "After that spectacle, the makeup sex better be televised!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha you thought it was serious at first didn't you


	2. bruce betty and whales

 

"Hurt me," Betty whispered, leaning in close to his ear.

 

"In 1992, scientists discovered the loneliest creature on Earth."

 

She blinked in surprise, leaning away. "What?"

 

"It's a whale that's been calling for a mate for over two decades," Bruce said as he kissed her neck. "He communicates at a frequency not used by other whales. He's never received a response and never will. That whale is destined to be alone for the rest of his life and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Most blue whales live till 90." 

 

"Stop it! I didn't mean  _emotionally_!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Talk dirty to me."

"I'm not wearing any underwear because you never put the fucking laundry in the fucking dryer like I asked you to 3000 times."

\------------------------------------------------


	3. ahahaha a virgin? my ears wished

 

"So, a cellist, huh? Want some advice?" Steve said jokingly, nudging Phil with his arm.

 

The agent raised his eyebrows. "No offense, Captain Rogers, but love advice from a 100 year old virgin? I dunno."

 

Tony let out a shout of laughter, falling off his stool. "Virgin? I - ahaha- whoo - oh man - I can't - hahaha!" The tower's inhabitants cackled around Phil. Steve rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

 

Bucky grinned wildly, leaning across the counter. "Sorry to break it to you pal, but my Stevie's no virgin. I've got the bruises to prove it. Actually, I've got one killer hickey right on my-"

 

Steve yelped, cutting him off. "He doesn't need to know that!"

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The reporter leaned in, pushing her microphone into Steve's face. "You were, and are, raised Christian, yes?"

 

Steve nodded, tapping his foot on the ground. "Yes Ma'am."

 

She made some odd face before continuing. "How is it like, still being a virgin all these years, especially in the 21st century?"

 

Steve burst out laughing, the rest of the team joining. Bucky made a show of shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I'm hoping you'll excuse my french, doll, but my ass is  _still_ sore."

 

She went bright red and stammered her way through the rest of the interview. 


	4. pepperonhehe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony never got a lot of compliments as a kid, so he makes sure he's always complimenting Pepper. Joke's on him : she has more compliments than he does, and they're locked and loaded.

 

Pepper yawned furiously as she hit a full 36 hours of working on a project, stretching her arms up over her head.

 

  
Tony reached across the couch, kissing her hand. "Yeah, being that pretty must be real tiring." 

 

 

Pepper smiled softly. "Then you must be exhausted."

 

 

He made a noise that most definitely was  _not_ an odd squeak and ducked his head in a blush. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Tony exhaled and looked his girlfriend dead in the eye. "I have something I need to get off my chest."

 

 

Pepper squinted at him. "Is it your shirt? Please let it be your shirt, I  _really_ want it to be your shirt."

 

 

He made a noise that most definitely was  _not_ an odd squeak and ducked his head in a blush. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Pepper laughed as Tony set her down on the roof. "I just flew from DC to Brooklyn in the arms of the newest Iron Man suit. I see why you love it so much. I bet I could fit the whole world in my hands."

 

"I know it feels awesome, baby," he said, circling his arms around her neck. "But that's physically impossible."

 

Pepper reached over and cupped his face in her hands. "You sure about that? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I just did."

 

He made a noise that most definitely was  _not_ an odd squeak and ducked his head in a blush. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"This proposal is only a humble declaration of the love I feel for you. You mean the world to me, hell, you  _are_ my world, and I can't imagine life without you. You have been a pillar of strength and support all through the ups and downs of my life. I'm only 12% of myself without you. You complete me, Pep. I never thought I'd say this, but I wanna marry you and grow old with you. I never wanna leave your side and I want to start a family with you. I want to wake up beside you and see your face across from mine for the rest of my life, and I can't imagine my life without you. You've been there for me through the good times and the bad ones, and your constant, unwavering support even when I'm a mess means so much to me. I wanna tell you I love you over and over again until it doesn't sound like English. There's so much I want to tell you, but I wanna save a little for hopefully our vows. Pepper Potts, will you marry me?"

 

She made a noise that most definitely was  _not_ an odd squeak and ducked her head in a blush. "I'll marry 12% of you."

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. he he!

The actual chapter is next loves!! this is just a quick PSA!!!!! I need some help here blease - I've got a new post endgame sad kinda fix-it fic with the first 3 chapters ready to post but i have no title!! : ( 

please put your suggestions in the comments after reading the description of the story so far!! okay my homies this new story has absolutely nothing to do with don't you go faintin on me or love you or our favorite street hooligan Luna : it was inspired by the theory that since Cap popped up in 47 after going down in 45, the Steve they pulled up in 2011 is still chilly and chillin out there. so my idea was the after snap brought back some people who disintegrated but not all - enough people for plot but also enough people gone to make us all sad! i'm really big on Steve and Bucky so writing Bucko hurt and yelling made my heart have an ouchie. apologies in advance. so Bucky rips Steve a new one, they all get drunk and have a big crying therapy party minus captain get off my lawn, Wanda figures it out, more yelling at Steve and then they go try and find Steve. i had to make up a few 3rd gen Howlies but it works!! and trust me i thought long and hard (haha) on who to keep in the soul stone and who to bring out. hints -  dead people are dead for the most part, some people died who didn't canon die, and your favorite spoderboy has still bitten the dust. hes chewing 


	6. aha! im back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im back!

 

Sam stared at the fist shaped hole in his wall. "Barnes."

 

Bucky looked up from texting Steve, sappy smile still plastered on his face. "Yes, Samuel?"

 

" _Why on Earth_ is there a  _hole in my wall_?"

 

Bucky shrugged. "No idea. Hey, what do you think I can use to get this plaster dust outta the plates on my arm?"

 

Sam threw his hands in the air. "You punched a hole in my wall and now you want me to give you advice on cleaning something that wouldn't have to be cleaned if you hadn't have punched a hole in my wall?"

 

"That would be lovely, yes."

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

"Samuel?"

 

"Yes, Barnes?"

 

Bucky stared into the fridge, hope and joy no longer present in his eyes. "Why would you do this to me?"

 

"Do what?"

 

"You emptied every single carton in the fridge. The refrigerator is refrigerating empty containers. What is wrong with you? What was your childhood like? Who hurt you?"


End file.
